burnout

you press the ass of the cigarette

sensually against my sternum

as if to isolate my sins with scorch 

the sizzle stretches into an echo

we both wait for my reaction

my seared flesh screams in mother tongue 

a lost language invisible to my ears 

the human condition i cured like a common cold  

i apologize for the failed exorcism, 

yes, 

this is really me 

though not how i always was

i could tell you it is the 10mg of prozac

the perfectionism 

the pride I allow to blindfold my sensations 

that made me this way

but my heartless facade 

is bound by fired nerve endings

synapses burnt out from rapid fire and forgiveness 

all resources exhausted

so am i 

with nothing left to give, i retreat  

heat had always been easier to heal from than hope